Going into business

I met some people. We´re going to start a business. We will buy a bus and travel around Ecuador searching for the fountain of youth. The bus is going to have a virgin mary naked holding her tits airbrushed on the hood, and The Gypsy Train in old English letters down the side. It will be black so no one can see it at night. It will be equipped with bunks in the back and seats in the back. Maybe a gun tourette on top. We will be drunk a lot and climbing lots of mountains. It will be the single greatest thing to ever happen to me.

Fans, I wish I could bring you with me, but the bus we´re going to buy only sits eight. There´s no way I can fit half, or more, of the United States in my bus. So I am having a contest. Please send a self addressed envelope with an essay saying why you deserve to ride my bus over everyone else to my mother. Why are you so special? I know most of you aren´t very special and that´s why you will lose, but I know that its statistically impossible that you are all losers. The trip only includes the chance to ride the bus, it does not include airfare, lodging, food or anything else. It will cost around 7000 dollars. Just make the check payable to the Gypsy Train LLC.

The Gringo Happy Trail

Last year I traveled throughout Latin America and I started this blog. I wanted to write a story a week. I failed. So the three previous blog entries are from last years trip which wasn¨t more than a mere adolescent masturbation. However, that masturbation taught me a valuable life lesson: dont fall in love or you'll end up picking cranberries in Central Wisconsin then moving to Colorado to host hard-boiled egg eating contests.
What I'm trying to say, oh darling reader, is that I am sorry for leaving you outside in that cold dusty wind. What did you do without those posts that I never finished or even really started. You couldn't know happiness because I couldn't write it for you. Look into your cold, black hearts to forgive me. Come on. You can forgive me. You've done worse before.