My Dearest Daughter,
I know you don´t know me yet, but you grow inside me. I can feel you kick and twist inside me. I can already tell you take after your mother. I want you to know that I´m scared to be a father but that I want a better life for you. A better life than I had. Oh, I just felt you bite my intestines with your razor sharp teeth. I want you to have what any parent would want for their child, a solid foundation, a home. I want to buy you dresses and dolls and watch you play hop scotch with your friends and giggle about the boys at school. To think of you begging in the streets, stealing bread, and eventually becoming a prostitute just kills me. This letter is for you my darling daughter as you double in size everyday in the far reaches of my stomach. I forgive you for causing me the pain, the constant fear to go anywhere that doesn´t have an accessible bathroom close by. Some day you´ll read this and you will see that your daddy loved you very much.
Love,
Dad
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Cahuita Rica
Costa Rica is a fine place. And Colones blowing out of my ass. And twilight sipping rum. And sunrise bathroom hunts.
Friday, May 15, 2009
ALONG THE LONE AND HAPPY GRINGO TRAIL
This blog is dedicated to all my adoring fans...
It´s been eleven long days on the road and almost a month since the ski season ended. I have been divinely inspired to start a blog, a documentation, of my trip along the Americas. Last night as I lay in bed, after giving my girlfriend a tremondous and powerful orgasm, I heard a voice. Who was it? None other than the Angel Gabriel.
He said, ¨Zach, God needs you to document your travels. You probably don´t realize it yet, but you are the most important human to ever live besides Jesus. I know what you´re thinking and yes, as it turns out, you are more important than Barack Obama.¨
And, as abrupt as he came, he left. I stared at the ceiling. This was big news. I mean I had an idea before, but to have a supreme being tell you your actual importance in the scheme of life, was difficult to bear. I decided it was time to eat.
It´s been eleven long days on the road and almost a month since the ski season ended. I have been divinely inspired to start a blog, a documentation, of my trip along the Americas. Last night as I lay in bed, after giving my girlfriend a tremondous and powerful orgasm, I heard a voice. Who was it? None other than the Angel Gabriel.
He said, ¨Zach, God needs you to document your travels. You probably don´t realize it yet, but you are the most important human to ever live besides Jesus. I know what you´re thinking and yes, as it turns out, you are more important than Barack Obama.¨
And, as abrupt as he came, he left. I stared at the ceiling. This was big news. I mean I had an idea before, but to have a supreme being tell you your actual importance in the scheme of life, was difficult to bear. I decided it was time to eat.
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